Where I can write and be free.

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Hello, Fantasy
I've been searching for you
relief, peace, no chaos
but right now I'm stuck in 
just searching for you.

You feel so close yet not
close enough
I imagine not being in pain
I imagine laughing with my friends
not worrying about some attacks
in another country called

I believe, Fantasy, that you hold
the very day where I stand among
those who are called loved-ones
and I stand there not afraid
but rather happy and joyful
I see you in the far distance,
Right now something is wrong
this home that we have
Is wrong. It's hurting right
I feel it in the deepest 
parts of my aching soul
But Fantasy, please...

I dream and search for you
You seem so unavaliable
You hold peace
no guilt
no shame
happiness, joy

But am I really just dreaming up
what you could be, Fantasy?
Are you really just a Fantasy,
Or are you so much more?


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Run Away Girl♥

Run away girl we are looking
for you
You have ran away from home
what do we do now

You skipped town
in the night with a bag
in hand
You are trying to escape
What are you trying to avoid
run away girl

You can’t out run your
nor can you hide
they will follow you
even in your darkest 
or lightest times

You can face this my
run away girl
You can breathe through
Come on Run Away 

Turn around
Face the truth
and fight the fight that’s 
hurting most


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Not Breathing♥

not breathing

these are the things
that I feel
I feel at peace
when I open my 
and scribble the mess
that's going on in
my life

I feel sick sometimes
scared even
a little terrified
but when I'm looking at
the masterpieces
God is creating in the
I can't help but attempt
to ground myself.

peace, no anxiety
is where I'm at my best
not fearing the worst 
and craving the best.


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Blue River
soccer fields
Drive in
DQ and Kroger

These are all a part of
what I like to call my 

Small and quiet
slightly dramatic
Busy and Slow
a little bit of both

Taco Bell, McD's 
Taproom and the Pub

We take pride
in the Golden Bears 
and the story we all read
in the 3rd grade
about how
came to be

This is my hometown
small and busy
quiet and slow
Food to eat 
and too many banks 
to count

Close friends
the world seems so small
welcome to the hometown
of the corn festival
or the Blue River Festival
Booths and food
Play slides
and Sunset Park

Welcome to the home 
of the Golden Bears 
Comets, Bull Dogs
and the Hurricanes
Welcome to the town
that I like to call


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Mess Up♥

I hate messing up
is it all i can do
i hate hurting
let alone hurting
someone like

It hurts me and i cant
contain it
I didn’t mean to make you
feel hurt
if that’s how you feel 

Maybe you’re okay..?
I can only 


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I suffocated
I drowned
I felt the burning in my lungs
feeling like I was

But my safe place
was just in reach

That feeling I get in my 
Safe Place
Where I see God
in all of his Glory
I realize he loves me
He pushes away every fear
every nerve that
is suffocating me.

Instead I become
Overwhelemed in his great

Love so strong 
I fall to my knees
I am so weak
But as a Daughter
Of the God of the Universes
I realize it isn't my strength
But his Instead.


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Panic Room♥

Anxiety Fear
what is this

My head is spinning
I think I'm crying
My heart is hurting

Is this what it feels like?
Pain and suffering?
Because I can't handle it

I hate feeling that way
not breathing

I hate feeling scared 
I hate feeling like an

I don't want to feel
But I can't help what scares me

Ground your self
Find your Safe Place
otherwise get stuck in your
Panic Room.